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Gym (is) life

In high school, I spent most of my time in the ab room only pretending to workout if someone happened to walk in. My friends and I would lay there chatting and laughing, wait, laughing is kind of abs right?? Anyway, it wasn’t until a couple years after I had my first kiddo that I decided to give the gym a try. My love had been working out, lifting, for years and then decided to try CrossFit so, I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about. It’s totally true what they say about it being like a drug or cult. I became completely hooked after my first wod and continued to practice Crossfit 5-6 days a week for years. There was very little that could make me miss a workout, including weather or illness. I was in love with it and the way it made me look and feel. Another great aspect of it was the friendships that developed so quickly. We loved crushing ourselves in the gym and then partying it up a lot of weekends. I’m not sure exactly when things started to change but, they did. I spoke a little too freely one evening and said some things that couldn’t be unsaid around the last people I should have. I think we all go through times in our lives when we are angry or just plain rude. Well, maybe not everyone goes through this but, I did! Long story short, I have never truly been a part of that group of friends again. To be honest, I was heart broken for a long, long time. Not just because of losing my girls, but my family lost our gym family. It might sound strange or stupid to some, but it was important to us. After a lot of reflection, I now think that it was for the best. The experience has definitely made me a better person. I learned words are even more important than I thought. I learned there’s a huge difference between a true friend and a friend of convenience. I learned to let go of what I cannot control, and to control what I can! Once I became pregnant with Cy I told myself I would still do the wods and I could just scale them if I needed to. This ended up not being the case at all, I had horrendous morning, afternoon and night nausea. I rarely threw up but I would become dizzy easily and that doesn’t work well at the gym. I didn’t return to the gym until Cy was about 3 months old. I wasn’t comfortable joining the CrossFit gang with my postpartum body and weakness after a c-section. So, I decided to work on only lifting and strength exercises. Cy is now 19 months old and I’ve been working out off and on about twice a week because of timing and childcare options.  At the beginning of this month I decided it was time for a change and switched gyms! I was nervous and I felt a little guilty, but I’m so glad I did! The gym I go to now is open 24/7 which really helps me out a ton. They also have unlimited childcare and are great with the kiddos. Besides the hours and childcare, I desperately needed the change of scenery. Every time I walked through the doors of my old gym I felt a slight poke of sadness. I don’t think sadness is the word I’m looking for but, it’ll work. It was a constant reminder of a past that is so bittersweet for me. Time for new beginnings! ???

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