“What’d you do today?”

Being a stay at home mom, homemaker, whatever you call it, is one of the most difficult “jobs” there is. I know you’ve heard this all before, I work 24/7, no sick days, no holiday weekends, nothing. Well, that’s not the hard part for me. For me, it’s the harmless question my 10 year old asks me every single afternoon when I pick him up from school, “what’d you do today?” He is genuinely interested in my response, even though it consists of the same answers day after day. My reply, at times, leaves me with a feeling of somehow being lesser and lucky at the same time, then I’m immediately flooded with guilt! Confusing. What a strange mixture of emotions.  This is one of the reasons I decided to create this blog. I stayed home with my first son until he was around a year old and then I worked nights at a restaurant. When he was old enough for preschool, I returned to college and finished a few years later. Graduating gave me a great feeling of accomplishment. The years to follow entailed me accepting a job with zip to do with my degree, or interests whatsoever. However, I was excited for the new adventure and made the most of it as much as I could. After almost two years at this office, I found out I was pregnant. I attempted to work out an agreement with my boss that would make it possible for me to be home with my baby with the minimum amount of maternity leave. (Don’t get me started on the maternity/paternity leave, that’s a whole different post of its own.) I cringed at the thought of leaving my baby with another human, to return to a job I couldn’t be less thrilled about. As it turns out, my boss had no honest intentions of keeping me as an employee and I could not be more thankful today. Sure, at the time I felt betrayed and disgusted. But, as they say, hindsight’s 20/20 and I’m thankful to be where I am. So, why do I feel this twinge of guilt, embarrassment, whatever it may be, when I’m confronted with the fact that I’m a stay at home mom? I’m obviously beyond elated that I get to raise my sons, I get to see every single moment, every school function. I get to pick Tyrus up from school each day, watch Cy as he naps during the afternoons, play at the park and have my own personalized schedule that fits our families needs. What is it? I honestly can’t give you an answer. Maybe it’s just the way society views stay at home parents as being less than. A few months after Cy was born I shared these feelings with Ian and his response is where I go in my mind each time I feel that twinge of being lesser. He wrote down all of the tasks a SAHM does and the many hats I wear each and every day. Then he showed me what my salary should be. And let me tell you CHA-CHING ?  

It was something I’ll never forget. I’m so thankful to have Ian as my love and partner. 

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