I met him when I was 18. He walked into the diner I was working at late one night. It was infatuation at first sight, I had never felt that way before and I was a (hot) mess from that moment forward. Almost nothing else mattered to me, the highlight of my day was always seeing him, even if we didn’t say one word to each other. I decided to ask my friend that I worked with about him and that’s when she told me they had actually dated in the past. Super bummed out by this information, I hesitantly told her I was interested in him. Much to my surprise she told me to go for it. I was an idiot blinded by hormones and went for it thinking she meant what she had said. I think deep down I knew she didn’t truly want me to pursue him, but, I made the choice to pretend she did. I went for it. I flirted my young heart out constantly. Eventually, he agreed to “hang out” with me and I got my way, we began seeing each other soon after. We had a bit of a rocky start to our relationship, him being 5 years older than me gave him quite a bit of anxiety. Him being my good friend’s ex gave me guilt and anxiety. Nevertheless, we persisted…haha see what I did there? Anywho, it didn’t take long before we were living together. I can remember those times like they were literally yesterday. We barely left a certain room of the house…we stayed up all night long staring at each other and talking about every tiny detail of our lives. After about 8 months, I got pregnant. I was terrified and he was ecstatic. I remember thinking to myself, this dude must be nuts. My mom had told me that her grandmother told her that you never truly know a man until you’ve lived with him for 7 years….or something like that haha. I had lived with him not even 1 year and now we would be in charge of a little human, just the 2 of us. I told him I had no interest in getting married simply because I was pregnant and he agreed. He proposed to me at Tyrus’ first birthday party. Tyrus came walking up to me, with help from his daddy, in a tiny shirt that said, “Mommy, will you marry daddy?” It was one of the best moments of my life, obviously I said yes.
Throughout our almost 12 years together as a couple we have had our fair share of ups and downs. Some I can remember fully and intensely and some I have chosen to forget. I think we are completely different people now compared to who we were when we first met, even who we were just 5 years ago. One of the most wonderful things about our 12 years together has been watching our crappy, immature and selfish tendencies fade away with time. By no means am I saying we don’t fight, because we most certainly do. I didn’t grow up in a mom/dad home so, I used to be worried to argue or fight in front of our boys. I’ve never witnessed this type of relationship in person so, I guess I’ve sort of used television families as the standard in the past. Obviously, that’s not an accurate depiction of anyone’s healthy real home life. Now, I believe wholeheartedly that exposing our boys to our arguments is actually healthy. It teaches them that we all make mistakes and every day won’t be sunshine and roses. There will be tough times that make you want to throw in the towel, and that’s okay. I think this will make their future relationships more successful because hopefully they won’t quit the second it isn’t easy-peasy. They also get the privilege of seeing us apologize to each other when we’re dicks as well as witnessing us hug, kiss, snuggle, and grab each other’s butts. You’re welcome kids ?.
My definition of a successful relationship is happiness. So, here are a few things I think contribute to my happiness in our relationship ?
- Intimacy-never stop touching each other, hold hands, kiss, snuggle, make love. Make it a point to show physical affection.
- Mutual hobby-find something you can do together, we love to workout and binge watch shows.
- Forgive-don’t hold on to negative thoughts, if it’s something you cannot forgive then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship (just my opinion) basically, LET THE SMALL SHIT GO. Life is too short people.
- Laugh-get over yourself, laugh at the stupid stuff that happens and find the humor in each day together.
- Communicate-the biggest issues we have EVER had were because we weren’t talking about things, I especially, was just pretending. I used to let things build up and then I would explode out of no where, it sucked! Now, I talk….maybe too much!
- Water your own grass-let the other grass die and blow away with the tumble weeds. Yeah, most people flirt occasionally, just don’t let that become your norm. This type of behavior leads to mistrust and only belittles your relationship.
- Don’t be a dick-I think this one is fairly self explanatory.
I know some people will roll their eyes reading this post, I don’t care. He is truly my best friend. He makes me laugh 24/7, loves our boys more than anything, loves me more than anything, pisses me off more than anyone I’ve ever met and has an ass that won’t quit.
I love our life now, but, I honestly can’t wait to be old farts together.