Finding balance isn’t always easy. To be more specific, finding a good balance between being a mom and being yourself. I know that being a mom is obviously going to be a big part of who you are, BUT, what about the chick that used to stay up all night (I don’t mean worrying about the kids☺️) hanging with her friends, eating cold pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner until it was gone, or too gross to finish? Taking a shower whenever she felt like it AND getting FULLY ready like, the whole shebang, hair, makeup, outfit, having time alone to re-energize, basically living life for herself.
I know to some people those things sound silly or even immature but, they’re just a few of the things that change in life when you become a mom. Life becomes less, MUCH less about yourself and much, much more about your family. My family is my life, pretty much everything I do is for them and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think there’s a thin line to finding the right balance for being a happy mom & person. One thing I have found extremely useful is fully being myself in front of my kids, pretty much all the time. I know, this seems like a given. Why wouldn’t you be yourself?
I remember as a new and very young mom thinking I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t have much in common with any of the other moms I had interacted with. Don’t get me wrong, they were always nice and their kids looked healthy and happy, I just had a hard time not comparing my personality to theirs and I honestly wasn’t finding common ground. So, thinking it was the right thing to do, I attempted to morph myself into a “good” mom. I tried to tuck away any traits that conflicted with the image I was aiming for. *Spoiler alert*-this didn’t work for me.
Our society has always put so much pressure on parents to be perfect.
▪️Kids aren’t smiling 24/7? BAD MOM
▪️Dinner isn’t made from scratch with the colors of the rainbow? BAD MOM
▪️You don’t wake up at the ass-crack of dawn? BAD MOM
▪️Kids aren’t in bed by 6pm? BAD MOM
▪️Two year old says the F word loud and clear as could be in a room full of people? BAD MOM
I think if anything will truly make you a “bad mom” it’s trying to be someone you aren’t. It takes so much energy. Now, as I have matured I know that there is no right or wrong personality for being a great mom. The key is to find your happy balance and to be true to yourself.
Here are a few ways I find my happy balance:?
?Obviously, I want to drink a bottle of wine and watch documentaries and then do some grown-up stuff with my love muffin ▫️BALANCE▫️ We make time for it a few times a month if not more. We make sure to get the kids to bed at a fairly decent time and once they’re asleep we pop that bottle of wine open ??
?I love going to the gym but I don’t love having to wait until Ian gets home from work ▫️BALANCE▫️ we switched to a gym that offers childcare.
?I enjoy working on growing this blog and its content but don’t want to spend every waking moment I have with my family on my computer or phone ▫️BALANCE▫️I wake up early, stay up late and work during nap-time.
?Most of my favorite music to listen to is explicit and offensive rap music, not exactly car filled with kiddos friendly ▫️BALANCE▫️I save it for the gym.
?I could eat cereal or Chipotle for literally every meal but my people need nutrients and variety ▫️BALANCE▫️ I do this typically once or twice a week, working really hard on keeping it to once!
?Coffee is my favorite ▫️BALANCE▫️ once or twice a week I pair it with a toddler singalong group at a local coffee shop.
Your kids just need you to be your own happy self. You are ALWAYS enough, I promise. ❤️